It Ends Tonight
by JuliaKerns5
Summary: [WARNING: Slash][RLSB][MWPP era] Goes after AllAmerican Reject's 'It Ends Tonight'. Remus tells Sirius that he loves him, and Sirius has to reject him. They switch positions right afterwards, where things are no longer repairable. Requested sequel ending!
1. It Ends Tonight

_Disclaimer_: I've really written enough of these for everybody to know that I don't own anything. :D

_AN_: Okay, love for the All-Americans!! This song really fit into the story plot, so I used it. Not only did I update 'Temptation', but I also made THIS!! Another sad Remus/Sirius. Aww.

_Something Ends Tonight_

September. Remus realizes something.

October. Remus sees some things he didn't before.

November. Remus deals with jealousy.

December. Remus starts to like someone.

January. Remus falls in love with someone.

February. Remus falls even more in love with someone.

March. Remus sees the ugly truth that he will never be able to tell them.

April. Remus decides to tell someone that they love them.

The past months that Remus went through ended in love. They ended in lust. They ended in desire, passion, hope, dreams, and jealousy. Tonight, they will end in something else.

And because of that, everything will end tonight,

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Of course Remus is sweating. It was the middle of Spring, and everything had just recovered from rain. The dirt was damp. The grass was damp. And tonight everything will change. Everything will end.

He reached forward and helps Sirius stand up, their fingers touching. This is torture.

"Remus, it's so much fun to lie in the grass. You should try it." Sirius encouraged, and just so he can lie next to him, Remus nodded and sprawled out on the grass. His robes are already soaking.

"Everything's squishy." The werewolf commented a little bitterly, but he won't move to avoid it.

"Yeah, isn't it fun?" Sirius rolled over, and covering Remus with his bulk, laughing before rolling off of him onto the other side. "Especially if you roll."

Sirius rolled back over him, laughing, until he finally met Remus' eyes. Time stops for him. He's still staring at his eyes. Time has definitely stopped.

Two things could happen if Sirius is interested in Remus. He would either a) jump off of him so fast his knuckles accidentally punch his stomach or b) he simply lowers his head and kisses him senseless.

Sirius did neither.

Still smiling and laughing, Sirius slowly slid off of him. "Oops, sorry Moony, I totally just squished you." Remus pretends this didn't happen.

Remus has been pretending a lot lately.

"So," Sirius said cheerfully, sitting up. "Wanna go back to the castle?"

"Sure. Looks like rain anyway." The werewolf answered half-heartedly, thinking. They're alone now. He should say it now.

"By the way, Sirius," Remus squeaks, looking at his knee.

"Yeah?"

"I need to tell you something." Damn, this was hard to explain. He didn't want to do this anymore, he really didn't _need_ to do this anymore.

_Your subtleties  
They strangle me  
I can't explain myself at all.  
And all the wants  
And all the needs  
All I don't want to need at all_.

"Fire away, Moony."

Remus turned quickly, so Sirius almost runs into him. He grabbed his shoulders and looked into his eyes sternly.

"I love you, Sirius."

_The walls start breathing  
My mind's unweaving  
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.  
A weight is lifted  
On this evening  
I give the final blow._

Why, oh why, did he think that Sirius would respond 'I love you too, Remus'? The walls around him starting breathing, his mind was unscrewing as he waited for an answer. The floor around him lurched. Maybe they shouldn't talk anymore – stop being friends, perhaps? That's not as funny as he had intended it to be. He never was a sarcastic type of person. At least he's gotten it out, something's definitely off of his back, but something new is on it now.

Sirius gapes at him, his lips parted disbelievingly, and his eyes clouded with surprise. Remus is still gripping his shoulders. Everything is ridiculously quiet.

_When darkness turns to light,  
It ends tonight.  
It ends tonight._

His breath is coming up his ear and his heart is in his head. Something wrong has happened. But Remus doesn't want to wait for it. But he is anyway. He's waiting to be rejected. Everything ended tonight.

Remus should stop pretending now.

"Sirius?" He asked tentatively, and shakes him slightly

_A falling star  
Least I fall alone.  
I can't explain what you can't explain.  
You're finding things that you didn't know  
I look at you with such disdain _

Remus is falling. At least Sirius isn't falling too. No, wait, if Remus is going to fall then he at least wants Sirius with him. But after what he said and how he reacted, he isn't sure if he does. You can't explain anything away. He's ruined it. If today would have been a week ago, he could say "APRIL FOOL, YOU FOOL!" and then Sirius would widen his eyes and laugh. Don't think about his laugher, Remus thinks, or he'll hurt himself thinking about it. He's looking at Sirius with such despair and hopelessness, desperateness, even, that he's about to cry._  
_  
_The walls start breathing  
My mind's unweaving  
Maybe it's best you leave me alone.  
A weight is lifted  
On this evening  
I give the final blow.  
_

Tonight was the night when things ended. Tonight was the night when the world ended. For Remus only, tonight was not the night of better days. Better days are over.

"Sirius, say something." He says softly, in a terrified whisper, and shakes him again a little.

"I don't know." Sirius says back, looking at his face in surprise. His mouth is still open.

"_Please_," Remus begs pleadingly. His fingers nails dig into Sirius' arm. "What are you thinking?"

"I don't know, Remus," Sirius says. "I can't believe it."

"Do something, Sirius." Remus was afraid. He still hadn't said 'I love you'. He still hadn't kissed him, or hugged him, breathing in his ear. Remus wanted to do it, but he couldn't.

"I – I'm sorry, Moony," He said heavily, breathing out a sigh. Everything ends. "D-D'you not want us to talk anymore or be friends?"

"No," Remus whispers, tears blurring his vision. He doesn't want to wipe them away. He doesn't want to cry in front of Sirius. He looks at the dark lake, rippling in the moonlight. Everything ended tonight. "We still have to be friends."

"I don't know what to say."

"Yeah," Remus says. "Well, I know what we can do."_  
_  
_When darkness turns to light  
It ends tonight,  
It ends tonight.  
Just a little insight won't make this right  
It's too late to fight  
It ends tonight,  
It ends tonight._

Remus stares into his eyes sternly, and moves forward quickly, bumping their hips together before he wraps his arm on the nape of his neck, kissing Sirius for the first time and for the last time. He's crying while he is.

Sirius moans in surprise and his arms don't know where to go, but before he can decide, Remus moves back and runs.

"Remus." Sirius breaths, his eyes still closed.

_Now I'm on my own side  
It's better than being on your side  
It's my fault when you're blind  
It's better that I see it through your eyes  
All these thoughts locked inside  
Now you're the first to know_

Now he was alone. Remus guesses it's better than being Sirius at the moment – since he's the one who will have to deal with the guilt and shame. But it is Remus' fault, he guesses.

Now he's spilled it. His only secret, to the only person that should know, and the first person to know. He's the first person to end his days. Sirius has ended tonight.

"Damn. Damn you, Sirius." Remus murmurs, covering his mouth as two tears fell downwards. He can still taste something on his lips. It tastes like Sirius, and Sirius only.

_When darkness turns to light  
It ends tonight,  
It ends tonight.  
Just a little insight won't make this right  
It's too late to fight  
It ends tonight,  
It ends _

It's not repairable. What he's said will change his life forever. Everything ended tonight. Sirius is irreplaceable. How could he have said that? How could he have told himself such things, playing his mind into a state of lies? How could he have pretended like this?

"Damn me." Remus hisses under his breath.

_When darkness turns to light  
It ends tonight,  
It ends tonight.  
Just a little insight won't make this right  
It's too late to fight  
It ends tonight,  
It ends tonight._

_Tonight  
Insight  
When darkness turns to light,  
It ends tonight._

Something ended tonight. Something ended. Something didn't. Remus is still in love. Sirius isn't. Nothing will change it anymore. Remus has changed things. Much differently.

Sirius is falling in love with Remus now. He had kissed him, and now he's about to love him. He never tells him, because Sirius could never deal with the rejection that Remus did. But there's no need to pretend. Remus made himself fall out of love, and now he is.

They've switched positions, a year later, where it's their seventh year and things are not repairable. Something is still ended.


	2. Dirty Little Secret

_Disclaimer_: I do not own Harry Potter.

_AN_: I dunno, I got a request to do a sequel for this, and I do that for anybody! So that's why I'm asking now for reviews (especially with my new story Hotel Roosevelt) and for requests of a story… please??

_Dirty Little Secret_

A year ago things had seemed irreparable. They had seemed broken and meddled with; tampered with, and completely messed up.

Yet a year later everything was normal. One day after New Years Eve and things were over. No more worrying or meddling or awkward glances. No more fights about what happened and why,

"_Did something happen between you two?" _

"_No, James." Remus responded. _

"_I was just wondering, you're acting really strange_–_" James somehow persisted._

"_Shut the hell up, James." Sirius snapped, and Remus gave him a look._

"_You're the one who needs to shut up, Sirius." Remus hissed, and Sirius' eyes flashed._

"_Leave me alone."_

"_Shut up."_

"_It wasn't me who started it, Remus."_

_Remus' eyes were already foggy as he glared back. James had already left the room._

"_Don't you talk to me about that."_

"_No, we're going to talk about it now," Sirius said. "What, are you afraid?"_

_Remus trembled, his lower lip quivering. "Shut up." He whispered._

"_Are you going to cry, Remus?" Sirius asked incredulously, a smirk going onto his face._

"_Are you _trying_ to make me cry?"_

"_No."_

"_Then shut up, Sirius. Leave me alone." Remus hissed._

"_Stop being so wimpy. You're so unstable." Sirius snapped, his eyes narrowed._

"_You're insufferable." Remus shot back, tears blurring his vision._

"_I can't believe you're so intolerable."_

"_I can't believe you think you're so perfect."_

"_Bastard." Sirius shot venomously._

"_Idiot."_

"_Unbearable perfectionist." _

"_Wanker." Remus said back, tears going down his cheek but his insides burning._

"_Jerk."_

"_Just like the rest of the family, aren't you?"_

"_Beast!" Sirius yelled, throwing his pillow over at Remus. Remus ducked._

"_Insensitive!"_

"_I don't care, at least I'm still human!" The Animagus shouted loudly, anger burning inside of him. There was a ringing silence._

_With hurtful eyes Remus looked at him, his tears still running._

"_With your insensitivity," He started, trembling. "I'm more human than you are."_

_Sirius stood shaking in the corner with fury._

"_Shut up."_

_There was another silence._

"_I can't believe I ever loved you." Remus whispered in the softest, saddest voice Sirius had ever heard. He looked at him briefly._

"_I told you to shut up." He said quietly. Remus looked downward._

"_You're insensitive, thick, slow, and heartbreaking, Sirius. I hope that's what you wanted to become," Remus finished. "It's a miracle if you ever will be different."_

"_I am different." Sirius said quietly, but Remus had already vanished, climbing up the stairs._

They had gone through so much. And so much had to be forgotten. Sirius thought that things were irreparable when Remus had kissed him and he had kissed him back, but denied him nevertheless, but he _knew_ that things were over with when they fought over and over – Sirius saying things that were unforgivable. He had called him not human even though he _knew_ that Remus was, but now Remus would remember that forever, and believe it too.

It was quite a surprise when both of them ignored it all on New Years Day.

"_Will you just talk to him?"_

"_No," Remus said stubbornly. "You don't even understand. Stop playing matchmaker." He said to James, sitting in the corner, hugging his knees._

"_You're being stupid. Just go up to him."_

"_Stop it, James." Remus hissed, and held up a hand._

"_Fine," He said back. "Do you at least want a butterbeer?"_

"_Do you want to get me drunk?" _

"_Not necessarily." James said carefully._

"_Look, you already dragged me down here, just let me be."_

_Sirius passed James, poking him in the shoulder. His eyes flickered to meet Remus', who looked away quickly._

"_Will you talk to him, Sirius?" James mumbled, and Remus sighed._

"_No, James, mind your own business_–_"_

"_Oh, come _on–_"_

"_James, stop pushing him," Remus said, almost defending Sirius. "He can make up his own mind."_

_James looked rather furiously between the two of them. Sirius looked at Remus, but he didn't look at him anymore._

"_Fine." He hissed, and stalked off into the crowd._

_Sirius was still looking at Remus when Remus looked up. It seemed as though for a moment they had been bonded together by James' attempts. _

_They both looked away again and Sirius walked away._

Sirius was confused, of course, but he was exuberant at the same time.

Sirius had a dirty little secret.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Remus wasn't exactly thrilled when he woke up the next morning after New Years Eve. He hadn't been thrilled to wake up since April.

"This is ridiculous," He muttered, and threw the blankets aside.

He found Sirius standing at the pole of his bed, looking rather upset and hurting.

Remus was confused, of course, but exuberant at the same time.

Remus had a dirty little secret.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Moony?" He asked gently, and stopped leaning against the pole. He stood up straight.

"Yes?" Remus said, halfway coldly and halfway softly. He wasn't sure what was going on.

"I know this is a bit late, but I really can't stand it anymore. I'm really sorry."

"What?"

"About everything! The fights, the yelling, the multiple silent treatments!" He said loudly, throwing his hands up exasperatedly and looking sideways. "I'm so _so_ sorry. I never meant it to be this way."

Remus smiled slightly. "I'm sorry too, Sirius. It was my fault in the first place?"

"What? Rubbish! It was my fault – this is just stupid–"

"Sirius, it's okay, it's over now." Remus said softly. His hand twitched.

"Not entirely." Sirius muttered quietly, but nodded nonetheless.

"Okay. Want to go to breakfast?"

"Yeah. C'mon." He said carefully.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Sirius' dirty little secret is more than just private. It's his own memento of his fragile life and what he's done wrong.

He still loved Remus.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Remus' dirty little secret was more than just his life. It was more than just wasting his time with Sirius and wanting to know more than he should about what Sirius threw away himself.

He still loved Sirius.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

It was an awkward, strangely polite day for both of them. But when they both walked up to their dormitories things got even more awkward.

"It's been a year, basically," Sirius said, sighing. "I've been avoiding, fighting, yelling, and insulting you for a year. I haven't been your friend for a year."

"You're missing four months of time for it to be a full year."

"Fine, then two-thirds of a year," Sirius corrected. "I've even missed your grammar."

Remus smiled, slipping his robes off and putting on his pajama pants when he felt himself being catapulted onto the bed. Sirius onto of him, smiling broadly, Remus let out a gasp of air.

"I've missed you, Moony." Sirius buried his head in his neck, and Remus laughed.

"I've missed you, too."

They both feel so right in each other's arms, holding each other and breathing in each other's scent. But they don't know it's mutual.

"Tell me a secret." Sirius' muffled voice said.

"What?"

"Two-thirds of a year has passed. You must have a secret, now." Sirius said, smiling, and rolled off of Remus onto the other side of him. They both only have their pajama bottoms on, both of their chests bare. Remus isn't being subconscious about his scars yet, he's too busy looking at Sirius, and Sirius is too busy looking at Remus to notice his scars.

"I dunno. You tell me one."

"We'll both say one at the same time." Sirius compromised, and Remus smiled.

"Okay. Three seconds?"

"Two."

"One." Remus said.

"I have a dirty little secret." Both of them say in unison, but neither of them laugh. Their smiles just fall off of their faces.

"What's yours?"

"What's yours?"

They both smiled faintly. Remus looked at the sheets and Sirius looked at the pillow.

At the same time the both moved forward, Sirius' arm wrapped around his waist and Remus entangled his hands into Sirius' sleek hair. They both moaned together as their lips touched for the second time, yet this time there was no hesitation from either one of them.

They tried to push each other closer but it seemed impossible. Their skin touched and fire ignited inside of both of them.

"I love you." They both said together, their mouths panting hotly against each other.

"Was that your secret?"

"Yeah." Sirius responded.

"That was mine too."

"It wasn't a dirty little secret then."

"It was." Remus said, and smiled.

"I guess so. Can you keep it?"

"We both will."

_Let me know that I've done wrong  
When I've known this all along  
I go around a time or two  
Just to waste my time with you_

_Tell me all that you've thrown away  
Find out games you don't wanna play  
You are the only one that needs to know_

_I'll keep you my dirty little secret  
(Dirty little secret)  
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret  
(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)  
My dirty little secret_

_Who has to know  
When we live such fragile lives  
It's the best way we survive  
I go around a time or two  
Just to waste my time with you_

_Tell me all that you've thrown away  
Find out games you don't wanna play  
You are the only one that needs to know_

_I'll keep you my dirty little secret  
(Dirty little secret)  
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret  
(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)  
My dirty little secret_

_Who has to know  
The way she feels inside (inside)  
Those thoughts I can't deny (deny)  
These sleeping thoughts won't lie (won't lie)  
And all I've tried to hide  
It's eating me apart  
Trace this life out_

_I'll keep you my dirty little secret  
(Dirty little secret)  
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret  
(Just another regret)_

_I'll keep you my dirty little secret  
(Dirty little secret)  
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret  
(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)  
My dirty little secret  
Dirty little secret  
Dirty little secret_

_Who has to know  
Who has to know_


End file.
